Siblings as friends

Writing my previous post reminded me of something I was thinking about a while ago with regard to siblings. A random blog I was looking at had posted an episode of the Duggars show about living thriftily. Having heard lots about them I was interested to see the show so my husband and I watched it. It was very interesting but what particularly struck me was something the older girls said.

They were shown doing home perms which apparently saves them a fortune compared to if they got it done at the hairdressers. The sisters then talked about how people ask them where the "Duggar hairstyle" comes from and why they all look the same. They said they were friends and they liked having the same hairstyle.

My initial reaction was to think it was a bit weird. But when I thought about it a bit more, I thought, "Why is it weird?" If they weren't sisters but were classmates in a school I wouldn't have thought anything of it so why is it weird just because they are sisters?

I think it is culturally ingrained that siblings are not supposed to be friends. We are supposed to be friends with people "our own age" (which is facilitated by school) and to be individuals separate from our families.

God created us to be members of families. Why would he put people together as siblings? Does it not make sense that people would be friends with their siblings? Of course I am not suggesting that siblings should be a child's only friends (and indeed that would be very unfair on only children) but it would be nice if siblings as friends was considered the norm.

Perhaps then all this school as socialisation nonsense wouldn't be an issue.

My Web Wanderings (weekly)

• Husband of Woman in Coma for 14 Years Visits Wife Three Times Daily, Won't Give Up

  What an amazing example!

  tags: pro-life

  • Abarca says he will continue to love his wife, "until God has the last word.  In the end, if tomorrow she must go, our conscience will be clear."  However, he adds, he is not ready for that yet.

  • Carlos Abarca has always visited his wife regularly, and now that he has retired from the national police force, he is able to come three times a day.  He says that caring for her is his whole life.

    
    

    "My affection will always be focused on her, I have never doubted it," he told the Chilean daily El Mercurio, which broke the story.  "I don't seek for more from life than caring for her.  There is nothing more to do."

  • In a story that stands in stark contrast to the Eluana Englaro and Terri Schiavo cases in Italy and the United States, a Chilean man has been visiting his comatose wife for 14 years*, and says he won't give up on her.

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

It's already started

Little Girl is only two. If we were going to put her in the state schooling system she would be starting Nursery in a year's time. Education is not compulsory for her until the term after she is five which would be September 2012. Yet we are already encountering opposition to homeschooling.

One person asked how she is going to have friends. Because school is the only place to find friends apparently.

One person said that Christians are supposed to be salt and light and if all Christians homeschooled then the only Christians in schools would be teachers. I didn't realise that sending your child into the state schooling system was what God meant when he said that.

And my mum says that the main reason they sent me to school wasn't to get an education but was for socialisation and for me to learn how to get on with different kinds of people. Hmm let me see.... Getting on with people: The people I have to get on with now are not the same kinds of people I had to endure through school. People my own age are adults - they have grown up. The people I had to "get on with" at school definitely hadn't grown up. Socialisation: I have no friends from school. I do have friends who I went to school with but they are not friends from school - they are friends from the church youth group I went to. What did school teach me? It taught me to shut down, disengage, trust no one and isolate myself (well so did my family but that's another story) - it took me years to undo what I learnt at school.

I'd be interested to know if anyone knows of any research done into the socialisation of home-educated children vs. school educated children.

My Web Wanderings (weekly)

• lovehome.co.uk: How to make Roman blinds

  tags: sewing

• Instructions on how to make a Roman blind

  tags: sewing

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

My Web Wanderings (weekly)

• Simple Joys: Update: On Miracle Baby Samuel Born With Thanatophoric Dysplasia, Turns 4 years old!

  tags: no_tag

  • He was born a Thanatophoric Dwarf. It is Also called Thanatophoric Dysplasia. It is a condition considered incompatible with life. Only very few have ever been known to survive into early childhood. Samuel will turn 4 years old this Sunday and miracle of miracles he is breathing on his own off the ventilator for short periods of time. According to doctors he was never suppose to be able to do that.

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

My Web Wanderings (weekly)

• BBC - Food - Recipes - Homemade Jaffa cakes

  How exciting is this?

  tags: Recipes

• Time Warp Wives: Meet the women who really do live in the past | Mail Online

  Thanks to Buffy from Buffy's Salon for this link.
  
  Whilst I do think these women are taking their liking of particular eras to rather an extreme, I find it particularly interesting that all three of them mentioned having different roles as being important to them.

  tags: Gender roles

  • Joanne Massey, 35, lives in a recreation of a 1950s home in Stafford with her husband Kevin, 42, who works as a graphics application designer. Joanne is a housewife. She says:
  • In our marriage, I am very much a lady and Kevin is the breadwinner and my protector.
  • We've been married for 13 years and we're extremely happy because we both know our roles. There is none of the battling for equality that I see in so many marriages today.
  • My obsession began as a teenager, when I loved old movies because they seemed to represent a halcyon time, when women were more feminine and men more protective.

  • 1940s                                                                                 
    

    Debbie Cleulow, 34, lives in Upper Tean in Staffordshire with her husband Martin, 38, who works for a JCB contractor. Debbie says:

  • I think I have a far happier marriage than many other people I meet, because we have strict demarcations in our roles.

  • 1930s                                                                                  
    

    Diane Rowlands, 38, works parttime in a customer service centre. She lives with Martin, who is 40 and works in a warehouse. Diane says:

  • Men and women knew their roles in society and there wasn't all this pressure on women to have to go out to work and try to be equal to men.

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.